Straight

The dark moments are further away with each breath, each step. Looking back isn't hard considering I find the past in my face constantly.

First, I pray for you every day without fail. I pray that God gives you stillness & the ability to look deeply @ the cracks in your psyche that maybe someday you will find a way to give them closure. No one else should have to do it for you. It's yours to do.

Second, thank you for everything you taught me. You taught me strength. You taught me that I won't break. You taught me that I don't have any reason to accept your anger, your accusations or your pitiful, paranoid ways. You taught me that no matter how hard you or any other person on this planet try, my family will not be torn apart. You taught me that narcissism, jealousy and anger are traits that were instilled in you long before I entered your life and they will be there long after I'm gone.

Third, I learned peace can be found in the midst of battle, that problems can be overcome & that I have never been and will continue to not be responsible for your problems, your anger, your pettiness, your jealousy, your misery, anything about you. I learned that stillness, quiet and love will flourish, that time will heal all and that not matter who you attempted to break, it didn't work. If anything it taught me to rise again. It set an example for my children on how not to treat a prospective mate in their future. They learned that I didn't accept that treatment, thereby setting the example that they not treat anyone that way or allow themselves to be treated that way.

Fourth, any respect I ever had for you left when you used your children as pawns while attempting to break mine. I am disgusted. I am saddened. I am not in the least surprised. Who knew how brightly your narcissism could shine?

Fifth, I mentioned the lack of respect I have for you above. I haven't mentioned that you broke the hearts of two boys that trusted you, that respected you and felt that you were as upstanding a person as you attempt to portray yourself and I use both portray and attempt lightly. There will come a time that you will be called out. I wasn't there when he realized you were a hypocrite, a liar or anything else that he spoke with disgust of who you turned out to be. I won't be there when you are called out.

Your kids. I am sad for them.
They will grow up. They will look back. They will question you. I pray for them that you don't try to break them if you hear something that doesn't sound the way you want to remember it. They deserve the best life has to offer. Too bad you aren't capable of giving them that.

As for me & mine, we will walk forward as a family rebuilding our faith, our laughter, our happiness and our lives...trusting in God, our church family, our blood family, our friends, our community and our lives and we will do it as a family.

09-13-13