Green & Pink Dewrags

And I'll protect you from anyone or anything that will ever try to hurt you because that's what big sisters do, I whispered to my brand new little sister as I laid by her in the floor, her little hand wrapping around my finger as she cooed at me.

TonTon! TonTon! TonTon! Her arms raised, swinging her in a million circles.

She was fascinated by the Christmas tree & would stare into the star ornament for hours when she wasn't trying to pull the star ornament off the tree. I don't remember how many times she pulled the tree over on herself that year.

Christmas morning in the trailor, she might've been three? She came out of the bedroom in her pjs, rubbing sleep out of her eyes to see her little race car & the little pool table, her face lighting with joy. It's one of my favorite freezeframes of her with her long brown hair fuzzled up from sleep.

Riding bicycles in the yard for hours upon hours as Buffy went mile after faithful mile with us.

Her first day of Kindergarten, such a tiny, pretty little thing with her shiny new backpack on.

The day on the bus that she picked up a boy by the front of his shirt & busted his nose because he wouldn't leave her alone & she & I both got sent to the principal's office. I can just imagine the look on Moma's face when the principal called-Mrs. Dingler, both your daughters were involved in a fight on the bus...laughing...

Her bunking parties filled the house with little girl giggles, blue eye shadow among other 6th grade favorites dissappearing out of my makeup bag as faces were painted and hairs were curled.

Will you hold my hand, too? I'll just sit here between you two as I brought a boyfriend to the house to have his heart melted by the brownhaired youngest Dingler girl.

Looking out the living room window with Gera as he kissed me the first time, giggling and telling Moma, he's kissing Tonya!!!!

Slipping a cutout from a magazine under my bedroom door that said play with your little sister...I still have it in a scrapbook.

Dear Tonya, I hate you, love Dan.

Played pitch with her in the yard for hours upon hours...got me ready for the same words from Trevor years later...

Took her to softball practices, watched her pregame rituals, her hair pulled up in a ponytail, her green & pink dew rags tied on her ankle as she played her heart out with Gera & Sonya-the game with Amity where the ball hit a rock, bounced up & broke her nose...

Her waking in ENT outpatient after her nose was rebroken saying where the hell am I?!!!

GranG taking us to the lake & threatening Dan within an inch of her life if she went out one more inch in the water because Gran couldn't swim...as Dan swam to the dock pretending to not hear a word Gran said.

Popping her Muppets movie in the vcr to find it'd been recorded over with much porn-Tonya, why are those people doing that on my Muppets tape?!!!

Taking her & Gera Christmas shopping with a boyfriend in Nashville, he thought he'd buy lunch for us all...gently trying to talk him out of it as he insisted...Dan ordered three burgers, three fries and two shakes...much to his chagrin...silly boy.

Taking her to the lake as we cruised in the batwagon-styling & profiling...playing volleyball in the summer with the lake kids @ the state park.

Cartwheeling through the living room with infinite grace as I continue to walk into walls to this day.

Losing a dear friend, I cried in my bedroom until I was almost throwing up as she came in, sit by me and held my hand...those little tiny moments...

Watching her climb out of the back of the truck in Nebraska as we stopped to stretch on the way to California...she keep unfolding & I knew then that Mom was right-all the tickling, teasing & being the honery big sister had finally expired. She was going to get me back for all of it now that she was growing up.

Dan, Jen, Shane running amuck-where you going, Dan? I don't know-anywhere Jen & Shane are going. :D

I'm getting married!
I'm pregnant! Awww Cole, you are the most beautiful thing in the world!
Awww, little Trevorbear-AuntD loves you!
Love you, little ElijahBlue!

I'm getting married!

I'm getting divorced.
Me too.

Porch meeting a couple weeks before Christmas. Dad has cancer. We are going to beat it...and we have so far.

Hogwild & faithful.

I'm pregnant!
OMG, Dan, she is the most beautiful girl creature in the world!
Why can I never find a shirt that says Mommy's little girl?!!! Searching for Mommy shirts hight & low as she took the world by storm, crawling, walking, dancing to 2 1/2 men music...
I'm getting married!


Auburn's Mom
glowing in the Mom & tiny Auburn pictures, smile lighting her face as she watched and continues watching the most beautiful little girl in the world evolve into... Dan's big sister---she's just like you, Ton. ( :D :D :D) Moma telling me her hair is the same color as my original blonde color when I was little.

I'm pregnant!
The baby is due in September...whewwwww summer preggers will be a hot one...

Porch meeting
Severe Dysplasia...know more next Wednesday. A step below cancer.

Praying. Crying. Terrified. Bravery comes in bizarre wrappings.
Praying morning, noon, night, inside, outside...without ceasing.

Life has been good to all of us. We have all been good to life. It's not over & we aren't quitting. We won't stop fighting. We won't stop praying & believing.

Do I have faith? Yes.

And I won't stop praying.